Dear Life,

I am 34 years old and I still have no idea what I am doing some days. Generally, I feel smart and capable. But today, after 5 days of whining and tantrums from one child I am "worn to a raveling- and there is NO MORE TWIST!" I am not really mature, or wise, I am tired and displaying the emotional capability of a sulky teenager. Bleh. You really irritated me today Life.

I am 50% mother and wife, and 50% housecleaner. "What about Cooking?" you ask. Ha! My meatloaf was roundly rejected as unpalatable tonight. So, I guess I'm not much of a cook. I wonder sometimes what my talents are Life. Are there any left? Have they all died a slow death in front of the television? Do you think you could clue me in?

Life, I don't know what you have in store for me. Frankly, after twins, Anna and the head injury in 2 years, I don't really want to know. It might scare me. You can be like that sometimes, you know. Daunting. Yes, I think "Daunting" is the right word to describe you.

All I know is this: I love you anyway. I love (and heartily miss) Fall and squishing leaves beneath my feet. I love the sound of my children playing together. I love when my Dad comes to visit and tiny feet run from the other room, and squeaky voices shout "Grandpa!" or when Aunt Lindsey calls and my girls say, "Hi Aunt LindseyBRAD?" I love Hawaiian sunsets, I love clear blue water. I love reading the scriptures with my boy. I love snuggling my 5 people.

Life, you are a hard ridiculous experience sometimes. I once went through a time when I wanted to quit you. Badly. But I'm glad I'm still here. Thank you for one more day with the fattest squishiest baby I know. Thank you for the workout sweeping up sand from the sandbox and scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees. I find it therapeutic. Thank you for family hugs before bedtime. Thank you for quiet after 8 pm. Thank you for ice cream. Heaven knows we need it.

See you tomorrow,

Me