i wanna hold your hand

every week seems long these days. especially from 4-7 pm, which is the hardest part of the day and the longest. and here we are and its sunday night-- the night of the very longest day of the week. everyone had a temper tantrum after church. oh, but not me. i held it together, even though i did have to raise my voice when everyone was crying as dinner was being served and jes was crabby. mamma wants peace. so sit down and be happy- dang it! then, okay, i guess i did get loud again after matthew handed the baby the measuring cup lined with oil from making brownies, and it was slathered all over her and the couch. (and that was after i had already washed her off, and was barely finished washing maren off from when maren took her diaper off outside and peed on the ground and she and anna danced in the pee.) then, maren cried her crazy cry-- it makes us all go crazy-- (you literally can't think when she's crying. its dang loud.)and i broke out yo gabba gabba to bring on the peace and quiet. yep, we watch tv on sundays. its called crowd control.

now, the three ladies are in bed and i'm folding laundry, slowly, while intermittently perusing the internet. i read the scriptures with matthew and he spent some time reading in his room. he came down to ask me to tuck him in. sure, i said. you could hold my hand, he said. so i did. and we walked upstairs hand in hand, said prayers, tucked him in, and he was out.

i wonder how much time i have left until he won't want to hold my hand anymore. i'm sure however much time it is, it won't be long enough.