Kids are Gross

We were standing in line at Costco, on the diaper run. Thats a box of 228 diapers, 3 formula cans, a box of wipes, and some DEE-lish, Naked OJ thrown in-- 'cause it tastes good to the pregnant lady. Anyway, someone left a paper bag sitting on top of the trashcan, which happened to be next to us in line. Matthew, being the good citizen that he is, has to push both hands onto the bag--that came from who knows where- and then continue to push both hands around the trashcan lid, feeling each disgusting crevice, presumably to make sure that no more trash was escaping its rightful place. Naturally, during this display, I am squawking-- "Stop! Don't touch that! That's gross!" etc. I say, "Look your hands are yucky now, so please Don't TOUCH ANYTHING!" He touches the shopping cart. "Don't TOUCH ANYTHING!" He attempts to touch his sister. "Don't TOUCH ANYTHING!" He manhandles the checkout stand.

We get to the car and I discover I have no baby wipes or antibacterial goo. Great. So, we are headed to the library. I figure, we'll just wash his hands there, first thing.

We get out of the car. Matthew plays on the rocks, and attempts to poke his eye out looking at a cactus. Fine. I get out the giganto-stroller, and he feels compelled to come touch it. "Matthew, DON'T Touch ANYTHING! Your hands are gross! Here, just fold them up like this (show him linked fingers)See-- just do that and we'll go wash your hands!" I leave him, hands folded, and go get the 2nd baby from the car. As I come around, he is hanging on the stroller again. Ugh! So gross-- I don't want slime all over. Yeesh! So, again, I say, "Matthew, can you please STOP TOUCHING everything! We are going to go wash your yucky hands. I don't want everyone to get sick." To which he replies,

"It's okay Mom, I licked them. They're clean."

I give up.